I think the best way to get drunk is by eating a cake. I think it’s much more elegant than collapsing on the floor of a bar. It would be a pretty strange conversation with the police though if you got pulled over…
“How many drinks did you have?”
“None. I ate a cake.”
The dough rises slowly under the transparent cling wrap staring at me with the impressions I made to test if it rose enough. It stares. It mocks. It laughs. I cry. I weep. I stay determined. As soon as I sprinkled yeast over the sugar-water the yeast began to hiss at me – quite literally. It called me a failure. Nevertheless, I stayed determined. I told myself I will succeed. It won’t be like the last three times when I failed making pizza even with store-bought dough. This time it will be better.
I combine flour, water, salt, and olive oil in a bowl and add the hissing yeast. I stir. My dough doesn’t look right… it doesn’t look like what I saw online. It’s probably that evil yeast. It’s known to cause problems.
This morning I woke up and wanted cherry danishes but it was too cold outside for me to consider the journey to the bakery. I would’ve made cherry danishes, but I had no cherries. So I made plum danishes. They were really good.
No, but seriously, they were really good.
I have an urge for danishes pretty often but eat danishes quite rarely. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA. Probably because laminated dough is scary (edit: apparently not anymore). For those who are new to laminated dough, it’s basically dough with lots of layers like puff pastry, and it’s supposed to be hard to make. Most food blogs around the internet these days will tell you it’s easy to make laminated dough. “It’s easy,” they say (while laughing manically behind their computer screens), “you should try it.”
